Accepting Limitations
We live in a culture that values ambition, fast-paced achievement, and risk taking. These qualities are seen as essential factors in society’s constructed idea of success, where one’s self worth is their productivity. When we feel that we don’t have enough - whether it’s enough money, time, beauty, or health - we feel limited and unsatisfied.
But the thing is, we are all limited in one way or another.
Our society tells us to always push against our limitations. However, pushing against our limits isn't the path to greater freedom, it simply accentuates the sense of lack and confinement.
How Overambition Can Bite
While being ambitious is not inherently negative, overambition results in more harm than good. When someone is overambitious, they either don’t recognize their limits, or they know their limits but choose to ignore them. There are two ways that overambition can be dangerous:
Overambitious people are more likely to set unattainable or highly improbable goals. While they work towards this goal that they will never achieve, they’re missing out on the opportunity to work towards something that they are more likely to succeed at, or something that they just might enjoy more. Being set on unattainable goals wastes time and effort.
Skipping steps is common among overachievers. They are so focused on the goal and how fast they can get there, that they will ignore basic steps. Skipping ahead is risky because it can lead to drastic consequences down the road, even if the steps missed seem insignificant in the moment.
How to Accept Your Limitations
Accepting your limitations means letting go of the concept of who you think you should be. It means embracing your abilities instead of focusing on your defects. When you accept your present circumstances, you are free from unhealthy ambition that is fueled by a sense of lack and greed. Honoring your boundaries is a skill that takes practice. Here are a few methods to incorporate this practice into your life:
Practice yoga. This helps break down preconceived notions that plague the mind and push you to push your limits. Yoga centers the mind and body, bringing focus to the present situation.
Don’t compare yourself to others. People may have bigger houses or higher paying jobs than you. That doesn’t mean that what you have is not enough. Stop looking at everyone else’s progress and be grateful for what you have.
Realize what you can and can’t control. There are some things in life that no one can change. Death, illness, and disaster all come without warning. Practicing acceptance everyday prepares you for when unexpected changes happen. You can handle tough facts better when you come to terms with what you can and can’t control.
Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is making the effort to pay attention to all your senses. By connecting with these sense experiences totally, you open your mind to a new way of experiencing what is happening to you and stay focused on the here and now rather than on the past.
Why You Should Respect Your Limits
The healthiest and most rewarding path to long term success begins with accepting your limitations. There are many benefits to embracing restriction:
It forces you to ask for help: Nobody's perfect. In other words, everyone has limitations. Instead of beating yourself up for not being able to do something, ask for help. By asking for help you’re recognizing your limits, and you might learn something from the person who’s helping you.
Constraint breeds creativity: There is magic in accepting limitations and figuring out a way around them (and not through them). In this approach, you focus on your strengths to figure out a way to achieve your desired outcome regardless of your weaknesses. It frees us to think outside the box.
Clearer perspective of reality: In acknowledging your limitations, you aren’t limiting your potential. Rather, you’re opening up your perspective on how you can reach your full potential. You’re not defying your limits, but working within them to achieve your desires.
It nurtures smart collaboration: Work smarter not harder. When you accept your weaknesses, you can find other people who compliment them and work collaboratively. This can produce even better results than what you intended.
Growing within your limits
Ambition in and of itself isn’t bad, it doesn’t need to die after you’ve accepted your limitations. There is always room for healthy, positive progress within your limits. Once you’ve accepted your reality, you can set informed, attainable goals. Here are some good questions to ask yourself when setting a realistic goal:
Why do you want this?
What is the underlying motivation behind your goal? There might be other, more accessible ways of satisfying this desire.
What’s the base rate of achieving the goal?
You can calculate the base rate of success by taking the number of people that succeed in attaining the goal, and dividing that by the number of people that try to attain it. It’s helpful to see how others have approached the goal and why they did or did not achieve it.
What are the factors that increase the likelihood of success?
How many of these factors work in your favour, and how many can you control? Consider how you compare against these success factors in the light of the base rate of success.
What is the cost of reaching the goal?
Make an informed estimate of what it would take to achieve your goal (e.g. the time and money required). Compare the costs of reaching the goal with your reasons for wanting to achieve it. Which weighs heavier?
What's the cost of failure?
What happens if you don't reach your goal? Being prepared for failure is not encouraging it, it is simply a precaution. It’s beneficial to have a back up plan in case things don’t turn out.
Aim high, but don’t forget to aim.
The idea of boundless achievement being feasible influences many of us to grasp for more, but this tends to leave us with a sense of lack and confinement. When we accept our present situation, respect our limitations and embrace our strengths, we are empowered to achieve more with better results.
Sources:
Beuke, C. (2011, December 9). The Limits of Ambition: Five steps to achievable goals. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ us/blog/youre-hired/201112/the-limits-ambition?collection=88636
Horne, C. (2020, July 8). What Is Radical Acceptance And How Can It Help Me? Betterhelp.
https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/what-is-radical-acceptance-and-how-can-it-help-me/
Jamieson, S. (2017, May 22). Accepting Life’s Limitations. Sarah Jamieson Yoga. https://www.sarahjamieson.ca/2017/05/accepting-lifes-limitations/
Steedman, U. (2017, November 15). Accept your limits… and find freedom. Uschi Steedman. https://www.uschisteedman.com/blog/accept-your -limits-and-find-freedom
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