Healing (Emotional) Wounds - Nicole Aubin

An emotional wound is a deep hurt, pain, or fear caused by a negative experience (or set of experiences) that over time results in internal and external expressions of anger, frustration, resentment, hatred, and guilt.


3 Signs Indicating Emotional Trauma:


  1. Being a people pleaserThe need to be liked and accepted, neglecting one’s own needs to put others' needs first. Stems from the trauma of not being seen or acknowledged emotionally as a child.

  2. Constantly doubting yourself A lack of self-esteem, a negative voice heard inside the head. Verbal abuse in childhood contributes to overall self-doubt.

  3. Being highly triggered A proneness to react to situations with an intense visceral feeling, responding as if there is a “threat” when there is actually none. Emotional wounds from the past are suppressed inside the body, bottling up negative energy. This can engender physical effects such as a tense, closed-off posture, or even an abnormally rapid heart rate.


Other symptoms of emotional trauma include: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and nightmares. If you find yourself holding onto emotional trauma, there are healthy steps to take to begin healing your wounds. First, you must address the suppressed trauma that is preventing your wound from healing. For this to happen it is important to see the difference between honoring your feelings and stewing in them. Here are ways to tell when you are stewing in negative feelings:


  • Your thoughts often drift toward the same story of loss or injustice, and each time, you're left unhappier.

  • You can feel mildly peevish or gloomy, then brood until your feelings intensify into fury or depression.

  • The agony feels perversely comfortable, like a pair of well-worn sweatpants.

  • Your loved ones glaze over when you talk about your problems.


Once you can recognize wallowing behaviour, you can begin healing.


5 Step Healing Process:


  1. Honor Your Pain

Unplug, put time aside to reflect, and permit yourself to grieve. Ignore people who say “just get over it”. Take as much time as you need and have patience.


  1. Reach Out

Long periods of isolation are unhealthy. Reach out to friends, find support groups or twelve step programs, seek comfort in prayer, meditation or philosophy.


  1. Take a Break

Healthy compartmentalization is a thing. Delve into creative activities such as writing, reading, music, art, or movies, or into movements like dancing, hiking, or long walks. When you are ready to return, you’ll be better fortified, rested, and ready to face your problems.


  1. Learn from It

The road to wisdom is paved with suffering. Recovering from emotional trauma or heartbreak makes you stronger, wiser, and more resilient.


  1. Move On

Some people allow suffering to define them, shape them and, ultimately, rob them of living. At this point you have to ask yourself, ‘Will you allow emotional pain to hold you back or will you decide to use it to propel you in a new direction?’


Most people carry around some form of emotional trauma. These wounds may be invisible, but they hurt just as much as physical ones. By identifying trauma, recognizing regressive behaviour, and taking calculated steps towards healing, anyone can pull themselves out of their trauma and not only heal their wounds, but grow from them. 





References:

Beck, M. (n.d.). The Key to Healing Emotional Wounds. Oprah.com. http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/martha-beck-how-to-heal-emotional-wounds

Cascade Behavioral Health. (n.d.). Symptoms, Signs & Effects of Psychological Trauma. https://www.cascadebh.com/behavioral/trauma/signs-symptoms-effects/

Grover, S. (2017, June 16). How to Recover When Life Crushes You. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/201706/ how-recover-when-life-crushes-you

Oliver, M. (2017, September 6). 3 Signs You Are Suffering from Emotional Trauma. Melany Oliver. https://melany-oliver.com/3-signs-you-are-suffering-from-emotional-trauma/

Puglisi, B. (2017, September 28). What is an Emotional Wound? Writers Helping Writers. https://writershelpingwriters.net/2017/09/what-is-an-emotional-wound/

White, J. (2017, November 9). Healing Emotional Wounds. Jake White Healing LLC. https://www.jakewhitehealing.com/articles-1/2017/11/9/healing-emotional-wounds



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